Mom guilt. Everyone experiences this nagging feeling that no matter what they do, it never seems to be enough. Mothers across the world feel inadequate as they juggle various aspects of parenting, including long hours at work, insufficient time at home, unhealthy food choices, and essential self-care activities.
Through her book, Lesley Prosko analyzes the intense stress mothers endure alongside the unrealistic demands society imposes on them. The book challenges the cultural expectation that mothers must do everything flawlessly. Parenting comes without a handbook outlining the ideal approach because the perfect method does not exist. Motherhood follows an individual path for each woman, and thus, we must release feelings of guilt and embrace personal choices that work best for ourselves and our families.
Why Do Moms Feel So Guilty?
Mom guilt stems from several origins, including social media images, unsolicited advice, and the mental checklist of motherhood expectations. Social media presents an idealized version of motherhood, making us believe we should maintain the same level of composure. Achieving a perfect balance between work responsibilities, home duties, and self-care proves overwhelmingly challenging for most parents, who then experience internal shame when they fail to maintain this balance.
Some common sources of mom guilt include:
- Not spending enough time with kids because of work or other responsibilities.
- Choosing self-care over family time and feeling selfish for it.
- Not enjoying every moment when society tells us we should “cherish these years.”
- Feeding kids convenience foods instead of preparing organic, homemade meals.
- Struggling with patience and having moments of frustration.
The list goes on, but the reality is no mother can do everything perfectly all the time—and that’s okay.
How to Let Go of Mom Guilt
Shedding guilt does not entail disregarding duties because it focuses on mental reorientation towards satisfactory performance. Here are a few ways to start:
1. Challenge Unrealistic Expectations
Ask yourself: Where is this guilt coming from? Is it because of something you truly want to change, or is it because of outside pressures? If you’re holding yourself to impossible standards, it’s time to rewrite the rules.
2. Accept That Self-Care is Not Selfish
Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you love your kids any less. It means you’re making sure you have the energy and patience to show up for them. Burnout benefits no one—prioritizing your well-being is an act of love for your family.
3. Focus on What Matters Most
Your kids won’t remember whether they had a homemade dinner or a frozen pizza. What they will remember is the way you made them feel—safe, loved, and supported. Perfection is not required for a happy childhood.
4. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Every mom has different circumstances, and no two families are the same. Just because another mother is doing things differently doesn’t mean she’s doing it better. Trust your instincts and do what’s right for your family.
5. Forgive Yourself and Move Forward
There will be tough days, and that’s normal. Instead of dwelling on mistakes, learn from them, move on, and remind yourself that you’re doing your best. Parenting is about progress, not perfection.
Final Thoughts
Mom guilt is a heavy burden, but you don’t have to carry it. Your worth as a mother isn’t measured by how perfectly you do everything—it’s measured by the love, effort, and care you give to your children every day. Lesley Prosko’s book is a powerful reminder that real motherhood is messy, imperfect, and beautiful in its own way. It’s time to let go of guilt and embrace the kind of parenting that feels right for you.