Society portrays motherhood as a single, unified version governed by secret guidelines that mothers should follow. However, all moms take different paths to being good mothers because no single approach exists. Despite the uniqueness of each mother, child, and family, society imposes rigid expectations on motherhood.
In her book, Lesley Prosko explores maternal stressors and debunks the illusion that only one acceptable child-rearing technique exists. Each parenting approach holds validity, as determining what benefits your child should be based on what suits you rather than what others think you should do.
Breaking Free from the “Perfect Mom” Myth
From the moment a woman becomes a mother, she is bombarded with opinions—on breastfeeding vs. bottle-feeding, working moms vs. stay-at-home moms, sleep training vs. co-sleeping. The list is endless, and no matter what choice she makes, there will always be someone telling her she’s doing it wrong.
Moms never achieve perfection because it does not exist in parenthood. Both breastfeeding and bottle-feeding provide the necessary nutrition for the baby. Parenting with passion for family members is a universal trait shared by both mothers who work outside the home and those who stay home with their children. Every child receives appropriate care from both types of mothers—those who follow rigid schedules and those who embrace flexibility.
Why Every Parenting Style is Valid
The distinctive qualities of children match the individual characteristics of mothers. Each family finds success through different methods, even though these variations do not need to be universally accepted. Here’s why every approach to parenting deserves respect:
- Children Have Different Needs – Some kids thrive on routine, while others need flexibility. Some are independent, while others need more comfort and reassurance.
- Moms Have Different Strengths – Some mothers are natural nurturers, while others excel at teaching independence. Some are highly structured, while others embrace creativity and spontaneity.
- Circumstances Play a Role – A single mother, a mother of five, and a mother with a full-time career all have different realities. Parenting choices aren’t just about preference—they’re about what’s practical and sustainable for each family.
How to Let Go of the Judgment and Embrace Your Own Path
Motherhood is hard enough without the added pressure of comparison and judgment. Instead of worrying about what others think, focus on what feels right for you and your child. Here’s how:
- Trust Your Instincts – No one knows your child better than you do. If something feels right, it probably is.
- Stop Comparing – Social media only shows the highlight reel, not the struggles behind the scenes. Every mom faces challenges.
- Support Other Moms – Just because someone parents differently than you doesn’t mean they’re doing it wrong. Offer encouragement instead of criticism.
- Be Kind to Yourself – There’s no manual for motherhood. Give yourself grace, and remember that love matters more than perfection.
Ending Note
At the end of the day, what makes a great mother isn’t how well she follows a set of rules, but how much she loves and supports her child. Lesley Prosko’s book is a reminder that motherhood isn’t about fitting into a mold—it’s about embracing your own unique journey. No matter your parenting style, you are enough.